So yes, I blame my daughter-in-law for this issue. I understand that my daughter-in-law is very close to her mother & family and I’m happy about that…but I am just as close to my son and in the area of family time he allows her to call the shots (especially since their son was born). They tell me they understand and they will try to be better, but so far not much has changed at all. I’ve had both emotional and unemotional conversations with my daughter-in-law about it…asking to be more frequently worked into the family time rotation. I’ve even asked my son to represent and be the advocate for our side of the family. Our extended family (also in close proximity) rarely sees our grandson. I have talked with them on three separate occasions about my concern – asking for the family time to be more equally divided between her family and ours. They make plans with her family regularly, but only when I reach out are plans made with ours (and when I do…9 out of 10 times they are already booked). They have missed several of our family’s important family gatherings (80th birthday parties for great-grandparents), something that my daughter-in-law would not even think of missing if it were her family. They told me that every weekend of the summer was booked until late August! Most of those weekends were plans with her family.
![ive been a wife and a mother ive been a wife and a mother](https://deafriend.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/mom-4211830_640.jpg)
I host a family pool party every summer, and knowing their weekends book up fast, I asked them in early May what weekend they would be available. Here are a couple of examples: over the past seven weekends they have spent five with her family and the other two with their friends – we were invited over one afternoon but her family was there also. They literally spend three times the amount of time with her family as they do with ours – even though we live around the corner! I am not exaggerating even a little. What I need help with is that they are so very inequitable when it comes to family time. My daughter-in-law is the social planner in their home. I know young couples need and deserve their space.
![ive been a wife and a mother ive been a wife and a mother](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/FMoAAOSwfDxfBsvZ/s-l1600.jpg)
Because of our close proximity my husband and I are very conscious to not constantly drop-by uninvited.
#Ive been a wife and a mother full#
The quality time we get to spend with my son’s family is pretty much limited to the weekends – because of the distance for her family and because my husband and I work full time. Our two families are very similar – we are blessed that there is much love to share. My son and daughter-in-law have been married for four years and they have an 8 month old son – our first beautiful grandbaby! We have a very good relationship – get along really well…have fun together! My husband and I live very close to them (literally around the corner) and her family lives about a three hour drive away. I read your response to The In-Law Tug of War recently and I’m hoping you can help me on a related subject.